Untitled

I wrote this at a time where a lot of things were going through my mind at the time, a lot of frustrations, questions, for myself and for the subject.

Feeling so fucked up in the head
Dejected and left for dead
Inside of my own heart
Where do I even start
With the way that I am feelin'
A love so unappealing
'cause it poses as more of an apparition
Non-existent in my realm of livin'
Guess deception is the gift
That keeps on givin'
"cause it teaches a new lesson
For every fuckin' time
That a brotha's stressin'
I'm not who I was
So who I am just can't tolerate
Such extraneous bullshit
Fuckin' with my mindstate
And I ain't got time to wait
For children to catch up mentally
To their adult statures
Acting on a higher level
Where they were meant to be
Thought you were meant for me
But the harsh reality
Of the situation is that you
Were just a pipe dream
Can't believe that you
mentally piped me
Turned me from who I am
to a figment of my true self
And it wasn't even like
You were after my wealth
'cause you were with me
when I didn't have it
And my heartstring, yes,
You grabbed it . . .

Before I could finish this stream of thought, I was interrupted by a long phone call. I'm not in this place of feeling anymore, far from it, so I can not finish this, but it came so deep from my heart at the time, that I wanted to share it regardless.